so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
