It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
