once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
