I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
third nipple confirmed
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
