Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
