i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
