My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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