dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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