This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
