My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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