he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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