so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I wish you could order shots online.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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