just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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