Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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