i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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