Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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