I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize