i jhust puked up my retainher.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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