If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
