He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
