I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
