I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
