scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
