So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
