I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
