Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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