ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
