Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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