It's like God shit irony all over that family
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize