believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
