I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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