Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
