Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
