is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Randomize
