I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize