You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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