O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I want her autograph on my taint
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
