Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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