This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
