It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
