Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
