i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
