thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
