i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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