Swine flu. Run for my life!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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