would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Randomize
