i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
