Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
