I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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