well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
