I must be too annoying 4 u.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize