I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
