and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
