I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
