He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
