please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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