Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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