I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
