I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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