i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
