he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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