Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I will be naked everywhere
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
