It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize