Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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