OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
