Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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