How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
