I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Randomize
