If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
