Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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