Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
