ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
3 2 1 whiskey
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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