life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i came on her dog
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize