i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She's the barista slut.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
