last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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