Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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