on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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